Crying Over a iPhone Home Screen | Coffee with Courtney

I cried and deleted some major apps tonight. You may be wondering, “Why?”
Here are a few reasons…

1) My business has had non-existent hours for a while… 6am or 12am I was there for you… except those two days a week when I’m burnt out from the open sign always being on. (Seriously, no fault but my own.) I believed the myth that I had to be online 24/7 for clients. This simply isn’t true and I know deep down I’m better for my clients when I devote 1 hour each day to messages vs. the constant random response times.

2) I read an article about the development of FarmVille and how this game was built to literally “hold you hostage” at your computer. Why? Because if you aren’t there to harvest your crops you will lose them. If you are into the game then that’s some major fear of missing out from a simple computer game…

Now I don’t play FarmVille and for a second I thought I was safe from being a social media hostage, but I realized that the whole “fear of missing out” and feeling of always having to be present online thrives all areas of social media. On my business page, for example, they have this thing called “response time rating” where you get a good score for responding quickly…. 🙃

I mean, I’m a competitive, people pleaser that always wants my clients to feel loved and valued, and Facebook wants to score my message response time? At first I was all #ChallengeAccepted… Just chain me to my desk why don’t you?
But I’ve found it’s just not feasible to always be reachable, AND it really makes you feel like your a bad business owner when you can’t keep up every 10 minutes 24/7…. That’s not healthy..

3) The final reason I deleted some big apps tonight was because I stared at my phone’s home screen.
I really looked at it… past the notifications and promise of new likes, and realized how my son’s face hidden behind a bunch of apps is probably a real life situation way more than it should be. Then I cried, and decided a curated feed or a “rapid response time” wasn’t worth missing any time with him!

So I’ve deleted the apps that suck away my time from my family and make me feel like I always have to be online… I’ll check-in in the evenings on Facebook and emails, and maybe capture our day on instastories for our own amusement! However, I’m slowly trying to back away and act like it’s the early 2000’s again and that all my phone can do is call/text and take photos haha… Oh and act like my business actually has hours like a normal person lol! <3 <3 <3

PS- When I sat and wrote this out tonight I reread it and thought… This sounds like those whiny posts people write when they are making a dramatic exit from a Facebook group or something. People are going to roll their eyes and say “just leave” or “just log out”.

Basically, I wrote it out and then really hesitated that this was pretty dumb to actually share on social media itself. Yet, a little whisper made me feel like my words would have value for myself (Hello everyone reading this! You can hold me accountable 👍🏻) AND others because I know I’m not the only one who feels like this! 

Maybe you are not a business owner, but a busy mama and you feel like you have to share your whole life for other’s approval because you have your own fear of missing out! I get it!!!!

So… Whoever else that was meant to read these words (besides myself): I hope you find your own path to a happy life, and  don’t let a simple app or website hold you hostage online!

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