One of my favorite shirts ever actually says CHOOSE JOY. I get a million compliments on that shirt and I love it, but I’ve had my worse attitude somedays only to look down and be wearing the very same shirt that reminds others to be joyful… ouch!! For me, some days it’s not enough to simply wake up and say I’m going to choose joy.
Some days, it feels like I have to knock down a wall, swim through a sea of sharks and walk through fire to pursue an ounce joy. Some days, I can simply choose joy, and then other days I have to actively CHASE joy down with a crazed look in my eye!
I love showing up here and on social media, happy and healthy, but its not all sunshine and rainbows here. I yell at Tristan and Kyle somedays in ways that make my face flush red of embarrassment and grief just thinking about it alone in this quiet room. I avoid getting out of the apartment some days because its just one more thing I don’t want to do that day. I get frustrated with homeschool, cooking and laundry. I get jealous of what others have, look like, or where they are at this stage in their lives.
But… in the dizzying madness of jealousy, frustration and anger, there is a always quiet voice repeating “choose joy. chase joy.”
So I look for it in the silly jokes Tristan tells me, the comical blow-out Blakely has, and even our silly-huge, fluffy towels that I need to wash, dry, fold and put up… because my life and the life of those I love are seriously way too short to let negative thoughts and feeling occupy too much of my mind. <3