In a world where you can “pin” your “ideal” life, I wish more people talked about that rough first year of marriage. Especially in a space where people spend months planning their weddings and sharing their newlywed life.
But then I remember how it can feel like you’re the only new couple not getting it together…. and how isolating that feels.
So this is me putting it out there after 8 years of marriage lol: That first year was not perfect. It was actually kinda horrible at times. Not only were we newlyweds, but new parents too. We were selfish, less unified, still working hard on becoming one…
Despite what people act like on here, walking down the aisle on your wedding day will not make you feel like you are suddenly one. And that sobering reality really sets in the second your honeymoon phase is over.
See, your wedding vows are a PROMISE, not a magic spell. Understanding that it is something you have promised God and your spouse that you will work hard on, no matter what, is key. A happy marriage is not something that will be just handed to you if you go to all the premarital counseling, fold their clothes a certain way, or decorate your home only with @magnolia
Marriage takes a lot of selfless work, on both sides, but the trick is to keep fighting FOR it, even as you figure it all out. Like anything, if you want to be good at it you have to practice, make mistakes, and continue to show up even when it’s hard! It may look like it comes easy for some, but we all have issues!
So friend, if you are in that first rough year or so, just know it does get better! I do think it takes even more patience when you add kids beforehand, but a beautiful, loving marriage can still be for you too 💕
It’s not something you’ll see people post online about while it’s happening because it’s raw, and you should share as wounds are healed. Still, don’t let others happy posts fool you to thinking the grass is greener. Behind a couple’s smile + farmhouse decor, was a leaky pipe and an argument that required a demo day, major work, and selflessness to make look beautiful!
Just put God first, work hard for each other + know you aren’t alone 💕