Sometimes at night, I just lay my head down and cry because of what I’ve said to this beautiful, little human. Or what I haven’t said enough of. Or what I didn’t do more of with him. Or what I see others doing better at with their own kids.
I won’t lie to you… parenting an 8 year old at the age of 27 is real freaking tough. Some days, I like to think I have it all together, but memories of my super short temper or even just a lack interest in his hobbies over my own come crashing down on me like waves of guilt in the calm of night.
On the really hard days the waves sweep me up and isolate me. I sit up and wonder just how much I’m messing him up. How I’m letting him down. How I’m just ruining this “one chance” at being a good mom, a good example, a good Christian, etc..
But God…. He meets me where I am every time. He shows up in the dark and let’s me know that I am not alone in these feelings…. that He NEVER meant for me to be a perfect parent. And finally, that, as a child of God, I can be just as confused and overwhelmed in this broken world as my 8 year old, and that I, too, am still allowed all the grace and forgiveness that He has to give.
You see, I firmly believe that we are called to lead our children to Him, but I believe that the world can put a lot of pressure on parents to try to fit in the right boxes by the “right times” and it can feel like we have to be doing it all nearly perfectly. It’s then, when we look to the world as our example, that we always start to feel the crushing pressure to be perfect and riddle with guilt, but God didn’t design us to look to the world for advice, He designed us to look to Him.
In those quiet, tear filled nights, God has given me peace and freedom from my #momguilt and shown me that I wasn’t ever meant to just drag my kids by their ear to Him with our arms crossed and noses raised high. Hoping they will one day “get” His love, His forgiveness, and everything that he has to offer.
Nope. I needed to humble myself, and admit my own brokenness right along side them so that we can move forward and all walk towards God hand-in-hand. I was meant to mess up WITH my children, and it’s a beautiful thing if I’m willing to lay my own sins at His feet— right next to theirs…
So if the world ever makes you feel like you have no room for error or overwhelms you with #momguilt, just remember that God’s freedom and forgiveness exists for ALL of us, especially mamas.
As parents we are not put here to show our kids just how mighty we are, instead we are to show them just how mighty HE is to us! When we stop holding up the world’s measuring stick to ourselves and starting holding closer to Him He will give us the boundless Freedom to lead our kids well– it won’t happen without mistakes, but it will happen happier and more hope-filled than ever! 💕